Braindead ‘Whiteout’ an off-the-peg thriller

Kate Beckinsale in "Whiteout" U. S. Marshal Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) goes for her gun while an ice ax-wielding killer keeps missing her in the icy thriller “Whiteout.”

I wanted to feel sorry for Kate Beckinsale’s beleaguered U.S. marshal in Dominic Sena’s Antarctica chiller thriller “Whiteout.”

But I felt sorrier for the mysterious guest killer who couldn’t hit diddly squat with his ice ax.

There he goes, chasing Beckinsale down the deserted hall of a research facility, swinging his wicked-looking ice ax in the air.

Swing! Miss!

Swing! Miss!

Swing! Miss!

Even the Cubs wouldn’t want this guy.

Swing! Miss!

Beckinsale’s marshal, Carrie Stetko, escapes, and so does the killer, who’s even more inept than a drunk Jason Voorhees missing four limbs.

We don’t know exactly why this guy wants Carrie dead, but it probably has something to do with the prologue, set in 1957, when a Soviet prop plane flies through the bad weather of Antarctica with a large box wrapped in chains and padlocks on board. (Read more…)

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