Witless protection: Moronic ‘Morgans’ shoots down all laughs

Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant in "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" Meryl (Sarah Jessica Parker) takes aim at a hit man as Paul (Hugh Grant) cowers in “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”


Take Sandra Bullock’s worst romantic comedies, every movie starring Pauly Shore, and every action film directed by Uwe Boll, and they might come close to matching the abject rejection of intelligence and creativity offered by Marc Lawrence’s stupefying, three-day-old-fish-out-of-water comedy “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”

The script is abysmal. The acting banal. The direction anemic. The mustaches overpowering. This by-the-numbing-numbers movie has no fun, no joy, no spirit.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but you’d have to buy an electron microscope to find anything good enough to faintly praise in this 103-minute piece of anti-entertainment matter.

It stars Sarah Jessica Parker (of “Sex and the City” fame) and Hugh Grant as a couple of big-city folks who wind up in the wide open spaces of a dinky Wyoming town after entering into the Federal Witness Protection Program.

The two hate the place, of course. No Starbucks on every corner. No shoe stores.

She’s a vegetarian agnostic stuck in the middle of God-fearing beef country.

He’s a wimpy guy so terrified by the prospect of a grizzly attack that he packs a can of anti-bear spray. (Any bets on how many times he’ll get sprayed in the face instead?)

Parker and Grant play Meryl and Paul Morgan, successful Manhattanites going through the throes of a separation with the Big D looming on the horizon. (Read more…)

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