‘Final Destination 5’ falls prey to formula

Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg in "30 Minutes or Less" Molly (Emma Bell) struggles to survive a horrible bridge collapse in the horror sequel “Final Destination 5.” It’s in 3-D, of course.

Fans of the popular “Final Destination” horror films will be thrilled and amazed by the clever ending of the fifth entry in the decade-old series.

But first, they’ll have to sit through 90 minutes of some of the most creatively torpid filmmaking since the last “Friday the 13th” sequel.

For readers unfamiliar with the “Final Destination” formula, here are the basics:

An attractive young adult experiences a premonition of disaster just before it actually takes place. (So far, we’ve seen a jetliner explosion, multivehicle pileups, a stock car race demolition derby and a fun roller coaster accident.)

The prognosticating protagonist survives, along with several other people susceptible enough to his delusional ravings to follow him to safety.

But Death will not be cheated, you know.

So, each of the survivors gets systematically knocked off by a giant shadowy entity that sets in motion a hilariously intricate sequence of improbable events conspiring to kill the unsuspecting victims in inventively gross methods that Rube Goldberg might conceive during an acid trip while watching a Dario Argento movie.

In “Final Destination 5,” Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto) dreams that he and his fellow employees at a paper company (not Michael Scott) are on a bus headed for a retreat when a suspension bridge becomes de-suspended. (Read more…)

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