‘Nightmare’ not the remake it’s sliced up to be

Freddy Krueger's glove from "Nightmare on Elm Street" The infamous glove of Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley) returns in the horror remake of “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

One, two

Freddy’s after you!

Three, four

What a bore

Five, six

Same old tricks

Seven, eight

Don’t bring a date

Nine, Ten

Not this, again!

Samuel Bayer’s “A Nightmare on Elm Street” squanders a grand opportunity to reinvent and update Wes Craven’s 1984 horror mini-classic about a diabolical pizza-faced boogeyman who kills tired teenagers while they dream.

Instead of a bold re-imagining – such as Zack Snyder’s kick-butt remake of George Romero’s classic zombie sequel “Dawn of the Dead” – this “Nightmare” merely recycles the original work right down to its bloody, showcase killing of a screaming teenage girl gutted by razor-happy Freddy Krueger while pinned upside down to her bedroom ceiling.

Granted, Bayer’s “Nightmare” doesn’t stoop to a simple-minded shot-for-shot remake (as Gus Van Sant did for Alfred Hitchcock’s classic “Psycho”), but his uninspired retread offers nothing new.

The most disappointing aspect of “Nightmare” has got to be the great Jackie Earle Haley’s generic interpretation of Freddy, the horror icon created by Robert Englund. (Read more…)

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